


The Amber of the Moment

by opheliasenzapaura



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Eventual Happiness, M/M, Minor Allura/Shiro (Voltron), Minor Hunk/Shay (Voltron), Sorry guys, angstier than i was expecting, angsty, hold tight, keith and lance are married in the future, meets younger!keith, older!lance travels back, pidge is a genius inventor and possibly creates time travel, pidge is probably ace, please forgive me for what i must do, time travel fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2018-11-17 03:00:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11266551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opheliasenzapaura/pseuds/opheliasenzapaura
Summary: “Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why.”-Kurt VonnegutIn which Lance travels back in time, ruins his future and must rewrite his own love story





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is the first work I've posted on AO3. Please enjoy & let me know what you think. xox

///

Static crackled over the radio, Allura’s voice dipping in and out in incomprehensible fragments. But all Lance could hear was the rushing of blood in his ears, the rabbit pace of his heart as Blue spun and spun. His hands were curled tightly around the controls, knuckles white and muscles straining in an attempt to right the ship. It made no difference. The vessel crackled with electricity, frozen and immobile. When Blue was pulled into the gravity of a nearby planet he began shouting, begging Blue to wake up, passing rationality and taking a sharp turn into pure panic. It wasn’t the planet he was worried about, he could survive a crash, he’d done it before and with any luck he’d get to do it again. No it wasn’t the planet that was the problem, it was the nearby sun, surface bubbling and popping with heat. A crash he could survive. A crash into a lake of fire? Well even Lance wasn’t that confident. The lion picked up speed, whipping around the planet and making his stomach rise to his mouth. Lance was struck with a sudden clarity, the clarity of a last ditch effort to survive, to make it home again. He pushed his pilot’s instinct from his mind and pried his hands from their grip on the controls. He looked down at the blank watch settled firmly on his left wrist. He touched the surface with a single finger and the watch face began to glow amber. Lance swiped a finger left, scrolling through the days, the hours, and weeks. “God, Pidge, please let this work,” he breathed before slamming his hand down on the watch. The face of the watch depressed and sparks began to fly. Suddenly he was moving through molasses, moving backwards, orange light filtering into his eyes. Then blackness. 

 

///

A bead of sweat dripped down the slope of his nose, landing primly on his top lip. Keith shifted his handle on his sword, adjusting and tightening his grip on the handle to give strength to his next blow. In the weeks since he had become a paladin of Voltron, he had spent innumerable hours on the training deck. A natural swordsman he had quickly worked his way up from fighting the level one training bot to fighting the level nine training bot. No easy feat. Lance was stuck fighting five; Hunk on three and Pidge remained completely disinterested in the concept of voluntary combat, choosing instead to tinker in her workshop. Pidge claimed that each invention would “Change the way we fight! It will change everything!” But more often than not it exploded or worked for a moment before suffering its untimely demise.  
The bot slashed at his side, Keith quickly parried and gave the bot a kick in the chest, sending it sliding backward. Keith raised his sword above his head, preparing a devastatingly strong downward blow that would win him the victory and send him to level ten. Just as he was about to bring it down onto the bot, the air in his right periphery shimmered, amber strains of light moving like code dripping through a computer. To Keith’s absolute astonishment, Lance stumbled through the light, completely outfitted in his blue battle uniform. Keith stared openly at him, frozen with his arms above his head, so lost in his confusion that he was unaware that his chest and abdomen were completely exposed to the quickly advancing, saber wielding robot. By the time his attention had snapped back to the battle at hand it was too late, the bot was there and in his space and stabbing at him and oh god the safeties went off at level eight and then Lance was there, tackling the robot like a football player. The two went clattering to the ground and Keith watched in astonishment as Lance pulled out his bayard and, turning it into a dagger, quickly dispatched the bot.  
The bot disappeared into the ground and Lance rose to his feet unsteadily. Keith turned on him.

“Lance, what in the hell was that? You appear out of nowhere, distract me and then take out the level nine I was fighting? You’re not even past the fives yet what the hell do you think you’re doing!?”

Lance looked at him, an eyebrow quirked and that signature smirk on his face.

“Kid, I passed the fives years ago.”

Keith didn’t have to ponder at his meaning for long, because when Lance removed his helmet it was clear that this wasn’t Lance at all. His hair was shorter now, mussed from the helmet but clearly spiked up at the front. His strong sharp jawline was now covered in a light brown stubble and even through his armor Keith could tell that he had bulked out considerably. The only reason Keith didn’t turn his bayard on this stranger was his eyes. Those, without a shadow of a doubt, were Lance’s eyes. That bluish gray, full of mirth and whimsy. Keith would recognize those eyes anywhere. He hesitated before he spoke.

“Lance?”

The confusion was evident in his voice and Lance looked up from his watch when he heard the hesitation in the question. Lance tucked his helmet under his arm and walked, no…glided, towards Keith. Lance put a finger under Keith’s chin and tilted his face upwards, eyes examining him. Lance ran his fingers gently over Keith’s cheek and through the ends of his mullet, forcing a blush to the surface of Keith’s face. 

“W…what are you doing?”

“Keith. How old are you?”

“I’m seventeen. The same as you…I think?”

Lance looked both horrified and impressed. He glanced down at his watch. “Right on, Pidge.”

///

Lance jogged down the halls of the castle-ship, Keith running to keep up with his long strides. It was clear that they were running towards the paladin’s hall. 

“Lance! Stop! What is going on? Are you even Lance?”

Lance ground to an unexpected halt, Keith slamming into his back. Lance turned and covered Keith’s mouth with one long hand. 

“Keith. I know you’re confused. I promise that I will explain everything once we’re safe in your room. No one else can see me. Okay, love?”

Keith’s brows rose at the pet name but nodded his understanding. Lance let his hand drop to his side.

“Good. Now hop to.”

He took off running down the hall, Keith not far behind. When they reached Keith’s room they stopped, both men breathing raggedly. Lance silently gestured at the door, the message clear. Let me in. Keith pressed his bare palm to the sensor and Lance was in his room and rifling through his clothes before the door was even completely open. Keith closed and locked the door behind him and when he turned Lance was stripping out of his armor, peeling off blue articles of clothing to reveal tan, muscular skin, the smoothness of it disrupted in places by white lines of scar. It wasn’t the muscle that transfixed him, or the scars that Lance certainly shouldn’t have. No, it was the small smattering of freckles across his shoulder blades. Dotted like stars in the sky, Keith couldn’t tear his eyes away. It was only when Lance pulled a white shirt, his white shirt, down over his shoulders that the spell was broken. Lance sat down on the bed with a huff, quickly slumping from a seated position to a supine one, limbs akimbo and head thrown back into a pillow. Keith was standing, staring at him, questions evident in his eyes. Lance sighed and started talking, cracking his knuckles and stretching his hands as he did so. 

“I am Lance. I’m Lance just as much as the Lance who’s probably doing laps in the pool right now. There was an accident, during a mission; I had to bail out of Blue. I used this watch that Pidge made; I swear it’s scary how smart she is. It was supposed to send me back just far enough that I could dodge that shot that took me down. But it took me back eight years.”

Keith blinked at him owlishly, not comprehending the story he was being told. Lance rolled out of the bed, narrowly avoiding whacking his head against the frame, and stood in front of Keith, hands gently holding his shoulders as he spelled out their situation.

“I traveled back in time. I’m twenty five.”

Keith’s breath caught. He’d seen some crazy things. Aliens, cryogenically frozen Alteans, ships shaped like lions that in turn formed into the shape of a giant sword wielding man. Time travel still felt so much like science fiction that it was nearly impossible to believe. But here was the evidence, standing right in front of him, staring him straight in the face, looking at him with soft eyes. 

“I’ve never done this before. The only reason I used the watch in the first place was because I was desperate. Either this or burst into a thousand pieces. I don’t know the finer points of it, honestly I wasn’t listening when Pidge explained, serves me right. And Pidge was either very clear that I can interact with people from the places I travel to or that I can’t.” 

At the incredulous look Keith gave him, Lance removed his hands from the boys shoulders and crossed them over his chest, pouting. 

“Well don’t look all disappointed. You try keeping track of every technical thing Pidge says.”

Good to see that even in eight years, Lance was still the same. Well, almost. There were of course the physical differences. But something about the way he stood, his presence in the room. He seemed so much bigger and more confident than the teenage Lance that Keith was coming to know. But damn…those physical differences had Keith reeling. His eyes traced the swell of Lance’s bicep, wandering over his broad, defined chest all the way down to the visible cut of his abdomen. He heard Lance clear his throat and looked up quickly, a blush spreading down his cheeks. Lance looked amused.

“Keith, I need your help.”

Lance unhooked the watch from his left wrist and held it out. 

“I need you to take this to Pidge. She made it, or…err….will make it? Just give it to her and ask her to fix it. I’m sure she’ll know what to do. I need to get back to my own time as quickly as possible. I don’t know what damage I’m doing here. And I don’t know if Blue is okay. Oh man…is time still passing there? Does that mean I’m missing? Keith is gonna…”

Lance stopped short. Keith opened his mouth to ask another question but before he could Lance was grabbing his hand and shoving the watch into it. Lance curled Keith’s fingers around it, both hands holding one of his. Lance looked at him earnestly.

“Please, Keith. As fast as you can.”

Keith nodded, backed out of the door and started sprinting to the lower levels where he was sure to find Pidge.

///

Pidge turned the watch over in her hands, delicately pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose with one finger, leaning in to examine the object more closely. Keith stood with his arms crossed, shifting his weight from foot to foot impatiently. He needed an answer to take back to Lance, the Lance he left alone in his bedroom. This Lance might have been older, wiser and sexier (Keith pushed that thought from his head) but he was still Lance. And an idle Lance was the devil’s plaything. 

“So what do you think, Pidge? Can you fix it?”

Pidge looked up at him incredulously.

“Fix it? Keith, I don’t even know what it is! I mean…it’s obviously not Galra tech. Honestly it doesn’t even look alien to me. It looks, well, like something I could make.”

Keith flinched, remembering what Lance had said about keeping his presence in this time a secret.

“I’ll need a few days but I think I’ll be able to at least turn it on. I just need to run some tests, do a few scans…”

Pidge’s sentence trickled to a stop as her focus shifted to the complex technical problem at hand. She always was more partial to machinery than she was to men. Keith waited silently for a moment then turned and took his leave from the room. 

///

 

As he wound his way through the castle, back to his room, Kieth had time to turn over the events of the past hour in his mind. Time travel existed, would exist? He skimmed over the finer points of that thought. Lance had traveled back in time eight years after taking a critical hit in what sounded like a battle. Lance, the twenty five year old version, was currently in his room, his unattended room. That thought had Keith quickening his pace until he was effectively power-walking down the hallway. He rounded a corner too quickly, his head making contact with Hunk’s large soft chest. Hunk let out a surprised noise. 

“Oh, hey Keith.”

Lance, the version that had just become a paladin, stood at Hunk’s side, arms crossed and his hip cocked. He narrowed his eyes at Keith.

“Where are you running off to, drop out?”

There was no real heat in his voice. But the gentle teasing didn’t hide the seriousness of the question. 

“I, uh, was headed to the training deck.”

Lance chuckled confidently.

“Train all you want, mullet. You’ll never beat…The Tailor!”

Lance punctuated his words with a toothy grin and a set of finger guns. Keith barely repressed a groan. How did this lanky kid end up as the confident, fully grown man that he had just met? Keith sidestepped the duo and took off in a light jog, not bothering to say goodbye. Hunk frowned at the dismissal. Lance rolled his eyes and huffed.

“Whatever. C’mon big guy, let’s go raid the kitchen.”

///

Keith slammed into his room, an accusatory look in his eyes, ready to catch Lance rifling through his personal effects or painting crude pictures on the walls in marker. But he was taken aback when he skimmed the room and found Lance cross-legged on the floor, back straight and eyes closed. The forefinger and thumb of each hand touched, and those hands, in turn, rested on his knees. Lance was meditating. Keith’s shoulders dropped and he let out a grateful breath. Lance’s eyes slowly blinked open, as if he was coming out of a reverie.

“Hi, darling,” the pet name slipped past Lance’s lips and panic washed the serenity out of his features, “Keith! Keith! I meant to say Keith!”

Keith carefully sat down in front of Lance on the floor. In an act of mimicry he too crossed his legs. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and fingers steepled beneath his chin. The look he gave Lance could have drilled holes through the side of a Galra ship. 

“Lance. It’s time to tell me what’s going on.”

Lance sighed with resignation. He knew Keith was right. What he didn’t know was how much damage telling the truth could do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which truths are told

Lance sat quietly for a moment, thinking. So much time had gone by, so much had changed. Keith’s life now was a far cry from what it would be like. How could Lance explain it to him? Giving up on finding a good way to do it, he did what he always did and just went for it. 

“After we defeated Zarkon…well the war didn’t end for a long time. Shiro was gone, Pidge’s family was still missing, and all of us were exhausted. It was a powder keg. Tensions were high on the ship, hell even Hunk was angry. But it was the worst between you and I. I can’t even count the number of times that Coran had to pull us off of each other. He got sick of playing mediator and eventually just locked us on the training deck. Told us not to come out until we had learned to get along. The first thing we did was beat the quiznak out of each other. And for the first time no one stepped in. We fought until we were spitting out blood, and even then we kept fighting. At one point you had the upper hand, you were sitting on my chest beating the snot out of me. You had your fist raised and you looked so damn angry and I thought “Oh my god, he’s gonna kill me.” And then you just…stopped. You sat back and covered your face with your hands and started sobbing.

I had never seen you like that. It was almost terrifying. But after a minute I sat up and I put my arms around you. You held me back so tightly. And for the first time since we started that whole grand adventure, I let myself break down. All those months of fear and anger and confusion came tumbling out. We cried as hard as we had fought, sat there until our legs were numb, just holding each other. Because despite the harsh words we had exchanged and despite all of our differences we were both just scared kids. I missed my family you missed Shiro. The universe is so big and the task ahead was so daunting. I guess we both just felt so alone. In that moment we needed each other in a way we had never needed anyone else. 

It took us a while to calm down and when we did we didn’t speak. We just lay on the ground, staring up at the big white training room ceiling. After a while, you stood, and I thought you were going to walk out and never speak to me again. But you turned and grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. You led me over to where we did one of our first training exercises as a team, where we opened our minds to each other, before we knew that Pidge was a girl. We sat down and opened our minds to each other. And I saw everything about you… Your sadness, your loneliness, your fear of rejection. I saw your memories. How you’d bounced in and out of the foster system when your father disappeared. How much never having a family, a place to call your own, hurt you. But I saw your kindness too. Your compassion for people, how much you care for Shiro and your desire for all of the paladins to be a family, people that you could truly trust to never leave you. I saw how big your heart was. How could I not love you after that? 

What you saw in me was what you had always wanted. You saw my family back in Cuba, the holidays we spent together, the big dinners, the laughter and the warmth. You saw how much love I had to give. In that moment you realized that I would never reject your or abandon you. Because even though I thought of you as my rival, I also saw you as family. 

The next thing we did was run the maze. You remember doing it with me that first time. I couldn’t even go one step without getting zapped. But that time, we did it perfectly. Blindfolded, forwards, backwards. I didn’t get hurt once. 

From that day on we were inseparable. Coran was so damn proud of himself, twirling his moustache and strutting around. Hunk was jealous for a while before he realized how smoothly the team ran when we got along. 

Then things started looking up. Shiro came back, Pidge found Matt and we started winning fights against the Galra. It was euphoric. We were finally a true team. We had meals together and trained together. The paladins had each other’s backs at every turn. Allura and Coran took you and I aside and thanked us, for whatever we had done or whatever we had said to each other that had fixed the animosity between us and allowed the team to truly bond. We were brothers in arms. 

We started spending a lot of time alone together. You would come find me on the flight deck and we would sit quietly, staring out into the universe and wondering where Earth was. Pidge eventually got her videogame system working and we’d play until way too late into the night and Allura would find us in the common room asleep on each other. There was that time that I figured out that you didn’t know how to swim. I begged you for weeks to let me teach you and every time you’d refuse. You wouldn’t even admit that it was a useful skill, let alone admit you didn’t know how to do it. I eventually just threw you over my shoulder and dumped you in the deep end of the pool. I jumped in right after you, obviously. But you didn’t talk to me for a whole day after that.”

Lance smiled at the memory. A thought crossed his mind and his face turned serious. 

“It wasn’t until a mission went sour that it hit me. You had been hurt pretty badly. I pulled you out of Red and you were unconscious and bloodied and… you weren’t breathing. God, I nearly died then. I didn’t know CPR so I just kinda punched at your chest. And then you took this huge gasping breath and opened your eyes. And I burst into tears. You looked panicked, your eyes were darting everywhere and you were touching every part of me you could reach. You finally relaxed and mumbled, more to yourself than to me, “Good. You’re okay.” You weren’t afraid for yourself, you were afraid that I was hurt. I remember being so overwhelmed; you cared about me more than you cared about yourself. I realized you loved me. And I loved you too. I loved you more than I ever imagined one person could love another. Then I kissed you. And as hurt as you were you kissed me back like…like you’d been waiting for me.”

Lance tucked his hand into the collar of his shirt and withdrew a simple silver ring hung on a chain necklace. He cupped it in his palm, looking at it with adoration.

“You won’t let me wear it on my hand during missions. You’re always afraid I’m going to lose it.”

Lance’s smile was fond and sad. He blinked slowly as if battling a sea of emotion.

“You’re my forever, Keith. And I’m yours.”

Keith had remained expressionless and quiet for the entirety of the story. When Lance stopped talking they sat in silence for so long that Lance thought he would go crazy.

“Keith? Say something...”

In lieu of words, Keith rose to his feet and walked out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Keith proposes and panics. Not necessarily in that order.

Lance feels sadness, thick and acidic, rise in his chest as he watches Keith leave the room. It’s been a long time since Keith has dealt with his emotions like that and Lance isn’t sure he remembers how to handle it. He can’t go after Keith, that’s the one thing he does remember. Keith needs time to himself, to process and to think. At this point it was a waiting game. He would come back. It was just a matter of when. 

Lance slumped to the floor, arms cushioning his head and legs splaying out. He closed his eyes and thought back to the night that Keith had proposed…

///

Lance could feel the music bumping in his chest, could feel it in his fingertips and in his blood. He stumbled off of the dance floor and leaned up against the bar unsteadily, he was overheating rapidly and already beginning to sweat through his thin shirt. Lance stood still for a moment, resting his weight on his elbows and watching his friends move among the crowd of strangers. They were in a club on an alien world, a night of fun and relaxation after a particularly challenging mission. Shiro and Allura were sitting at a booth, chatting and neatly sipping glasses of amber liquid. Hunk and Coran were in the center of the dance floor where Lance had left them, wearing oversized sunglasses and top hats that they had gotten from God knows where. What they were doing could hardly be called dancing, but they did it with joy. Pidge was seated down the bar from him, deep in conversation with a man who was flanked by a small droid. Every so often he would gesture to the droid or draw Pidge’s attention to something scribbled in his notebook. Between sentences Pidge would stop to sip from a colorful cocktail, complete with a little beach umbrella. And Keith…where was Keith? Lance glanced over his shoulder, no sign of his beau anywhere. He pushed himself up off his elbows and went to check the bathroom. It was there that he found Keith. On his knees in front of a toilet, his shock of black hair a stark contrast to the white of the stall. He was vomiting with gusto. Lance was perplexed. The red paladin had his fair share of bad qualities. But a lack of self-control was not one of them. Lance sat behind Keith and placed a long, warm hand between his shoulders. Keith spat into the toilet and then relaxed into the touch. Lance spoke quietly.

“How ya doin’, babe?”

Keith groaned and pressed his face to the cold seat of the toilet. 

“I’m such an idiot. Tonight was supposed to be special.”

Lance shifted closer, resting his head on Keith’s back and slinging his arms low around his waist, purposefully avoiding putting pressure on his stomach.

“Tonight was great! We freed another planet, Hunk and Coran are dancing... Everyone is having a great time! Doesn’t really matter if you blew chunks or not.”

“I got nervous…I though a few drinks would help but…”

Keith seized up and pushed his head into the toilet to vomit again. Lance just held on, petting Keith’s arms and pressing kisses into his back. Keith was shuddering, close to tears.

“It’s alright, hermoso. I’ve got you.”

Keith wiped his mouth against the back of his hand and looked over his shoulder. The harsh light of the bathroom illuminated his face, sallow and sweaty. His stomach roiled and he gagged. Keith took a deep breath to calm both his stomach and his nerves.

“Marry me, Lance.”

Lance’s grip on Keith tightened, his mouth falling open in shock. Keith turned around more fully and Lance could see the fear in his wet eyes.

“What did you just say?”

“I said. Marry me.”

“You’re asking me right now?”

Lance glanced behind him at the toilet bowl. Keith tried to smirk but it turned into a grimace as his stomach rumbled threateningly. He took another deep, steadying breath.

“I’ve had a million beautiful opportunities to ask you. Sitting under the setting sun on the Balmera, watching the stars on the flight deck, during that one weird festival in our honor. You had all those big pink flowers in your hair.” 

Lance smiled at the memory. Keith shivered and pressed himself closer to Lance, soft mouth moving against his long tan neck, hand curled into his shirt.

“I love you in the beautiful moments. But I love you most in moments like these, the terrible, awful moments. Marry me, Lance. Spend the rest of your moments with me.”

Lance took a deep shuddering breath, a few stray tears running down his face. He pressed his nose into Keith’s hair, inhaling the all too familiar scent. Keith pulled away abruptly, barely making the toilet that time. Keith’s hand pulled at his shirt, never letting go. He stopped vomiting and sagged against the toilet. Lance wrapped his long body around Keith’s and pressed his mouth to his fiancé’s ear.

“Yes.”

///

The memory was still as clear and vivid as the night itself had been. Lance reached up to rub at his wet eyes and felt a wave of loneliness wash over him. He missed Keith, his team, being in his own damn time. These formative years hadn’t been easy for any of the paladins, but for him they had been particularly difficult. Being isolated in the year that had been so hard for him, stuck with the old emotions and old Keith, was taking its toll. Lance sniffled and breathed carefully through his mouth, trying to walk himself back from the sadness that threatened to consume him. He just wanted to go home. 

No sooner than that thought had scrolled across the billboard of his consciousness did there come a knock on the door. 

///

Keith shuffled through the long hallways of the upper deck. It was dark and blissfully quiet. His thoughts expanded to fill the silence and Keith allowed himself to steep in them. To be told your own future before you were ready to live it? It was no small burden to bear. And this life that Lance had spoken of… A life where he had a home, a family, someone who loved him…the thought had his heart beating faster, hope coursing through his veins, flushing the skin it passed under. Keith shook his head as if to dislodge the thought. He couldn’t afford to think like that. Hope only lead to disappointment. His father and his years in the system had taught him that. He had lived with a lot of families. Most of them good, some of them not. And it seemed like every time he wished, hoped, asked to be a permanent part of that family, he got bounced. Keith learned long ago that nothing was for keeps, especially the love of someone as radiant as Lance. He sank to the floor, leaning up against the wall for support, and pressed his hands into his eyes, rubbing until he saw stars. He pulled his hands away, blinking slowly, watching as colors swirled in his vision; something he did as a child. Greens and blues and…amber. That trickling amber color. Keith knitted his eyebrows together, familiarity tugging in the back of his brain. The air pulsed with energy and the hall was flooded with the smell of saltwater, cheap detergent and, oh God, Lance!

Keith scrambled to his feet, panic overtaking him. His body was on the move before his mind could catch up. He sprinted through the halls, sliding around corners and using the walls to leverage his weight in the right direction, all in a mad dash to make it back in time to… To what? He saw the door to his room rapidly approaching; putting on a final burst of speed he slapped his palm to the sensor mounted on the wall, the door sliding open to reveal…nothing. The room was empty. Empty but for the last fading amber sparks of a closing portal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be much lighter than it's turning out to be. Sorry, guys. Stick with me. It'll be worth it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Lance goes home

Lance’s head cracked back against the seat as he was flung forward through time and deposited messily back into Blue. He paused, readjusting himself in the pilot’s seat and trying to get his bearings. All he could hear was the quiet hum of the ship and the hot crackling of the nearby sun. Blue was floating peacefully, almost neatly, just outside of the sun’s gravitational pull. He had only a moment to marvel at the very fact of being alive before his com popped to life. Allura desperately screaming his name, a cacophony of other worried voices joining hers in a symphony of anxiety. Lance answered, hoarsely.

“Hey guys…”

Although the others were shouting Allura’s voice came through the clearest

“Lance! You dropped off the radar for forty-three ticks. We thought you were…”

The steadying breath she took came through the radio as clear as spoken words. Dead. 

“We’re glad you’re alright. Where are you and your lion?”

Lance took the controls in his hands and gently piloted Blue around the side of the sun, back into the view of his fellow paladins. Although he knew no one could see him, he waved hard. He was nauseous, shaky and disoriented but above all, euphorically happy to be home. To be back in his own time, with HIS friends and HIS Keith… Keith. Lance felt his heart speed up at the thought of burying his face into the neat dip of Keith’s neck. Visible ever since Keith had abandoned his mullet in favor of a neat undercut that swung around his head all the way up over his ears. The rest he kept long and piled in a bun atop his head while fighting or planning, and spilling over his shoulders while making love. Lance reached his hand up to hold his ring in his palm, a self-soothing habit he had developed years ago. He froze when he couldn’t find the familiar lump tucked into his armor. He tried working backwards; going for the chain that was…wasn’t around his neck. Now he was panicking… If the time warp had taken the ring Keith would never forgive him… He only had a moment before Allura’s voice came dipping back through the radio. 

“A battle well fought, paladins. Back to the ship and we’ll meet in the common room.”

For just a second Lance thought that maybe letting Blue get pulled into the sun would be better than facing Keith and having to tell him that he lost his wedding ring. But then he thought of Hunk’s cooking and Shiro’s chiding and Keith’s mouth and all the other things he would miss if he burst into flames. So he powered up the thrusters and piloted Blue towards the ship.

// 

Lance was still patting himself down when he walked into the common room, opening what flaps of armor he could, even sticking his hand down his pants to see if the ring had somehow slipped all the way down his chest. In hindsight, walking into the common room with a hand on your groin while shouting, “I missed you guys!” at the top of your lungs wasn’t the best choice. At least, that’s what the look on Pidge’s face said. He withdrew his hand from his underpants and stood at the top of the stairs, just taking in his teammates. Pidge had the same owlish look to her she always had, probably her large round glasses, but her hair was long and plaited neatly back. She was stripped down to her flight suit, which itself had been rolled to her waist, revealing a plain white tank top and a lithe boyish frame. She was pretty and bright eyed and had never shown the slightest bit of interest in anything that didn’t have wires. Hunk sat beside her, a towering juxtaposition. Over the years he hadn’t lost his love of food, but he had lost his baby fat and was now a hulking specimen of a man. He wore the same yellow wrap around his head, but his jaw was square and large instead of soft and round as it had been eight years ago. His massive biceps were decorated with tattoos, tattoos that depicted his Samoan heritage and his love for the Balmera and the rock woman who lived on it. Shiro sat tall and proud as ever, his hair was slightly grayer perhaps, his jaw a bit more set perhaps. But the biggest difference was that Allura sat snugly under his arm with a comfort that showed just how long they had been in love. Allura’s face was exactly the same, Alteans aged slower and it showed, but her hair was short now, a delicate and simultaneously harsh pixie cut. She was so breathtakingly beautiful that she hurt to look at. The past 8 years had been tough, and Allura had shouldered every challenge with incredible dignity and poise. It showed in her eyes. Coran was exactly the same. How could you improve on a classic? 

As happy as he was to see his friends, teammates, chosen family, the one he was really looking for was seated on the opposite end of the chairs, away from everyone else. His arms crossed over his now considerable chest, and his mouth shaped into a snarl. Keith’s hair fell over his eyes, the human incarnation of a locked door. Lance felt himself tense. Keith knew. How could he know? 

Lance walked over to Keith slowly, the eyes of the room following him. He sat close to Keith’s side and spoke lowly, words that would surely carry in the enormity of the room but words that were meant only for Keith, nonetheless.

“I’m sorry. I know… how it important it was. I lost it. I know you know that. I don’t know how you know that. But … I’ll make it up to you. I swear.”

Lance laid his hand lightly on Keith’s thigh. With a devastatingly quick movement Keith had Lance’s wrist crushed in a gloved hand and was twisting his arm up behind his back, threatening to pop Lance’s shoulder out of its socket. Keith leaned in from behind him and hissed into Lance’s ear.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. But if you ever touch me like that again you’ll lose your fucking hand. Got it?”

It was only when Lance weakly nodded his assent that Keith roughly threw his arm back into place. Keith stood over him, glaring at him for one more moment before storming out of the common room, running his hands through his mullet as he did so. 

Hunk was over to Lance in a flash, helping him to his feet, carefully minding his now sore arm. Hunk looked at Lance with shock and concern

“What are you doing messing with Keith like that?” 

“Seriously scatterbrained”

Came the commentary from Pidge. Lance looked to Shiro, who simply looked disappointed. Lance pushed Hunk’s arm away gently and walked out of the common room into the hallway. He needed time alone to process what had just happened. 

He couldn’t understand why Keith had reacted to him like that. Lance could understand him being confused about the ring. Maybe he didn’t know it was gone and something else was wrong. But hurting him like that? Twisting his arm? It’s not as though touch was foreign to them…there was a glaring wrongness to the whole thing that made Lance’s heart ache. And the strangest part, and maybe the worst part, was that no one else seemed disturbed by what Keith had done. If anything they had seemed upset at him. And Keith’s hair… Lance would have noticed the damned mullet growing back in. He lifted his hand to rub at his injured wrist and in doing so brought the newly fixed watch into his line of sight. 

The watch. Lance stopped walking as the realization bubbled to the surface. The team expected that sort of behavior from Keith. But the Keith that Lance loved stopped acting like that years ago. Unless… unless it wasn’t the same Keith. Unless Lance had changed something when he went back. His wedding ring wasn’t missing. It didn’t exist. Lance felt his throat close, tears at the corners of his eyes threatening to spill over. 

“Oh my god… what did I do…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, friends. Sorry for the long wait. I missed you all and I hope you enjoy this next chapter. I have a good sense of where the story is going now... You won't be happy with me for a bit. But you will soon. xox


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a confrontation

Hunk guided Lance out of the common room gently by the arm with Pidge trailing not far behind. After a beat of awkward silence, Hunk and Pidge began to chat amiably. But Lance wasn’t listening. He couldn’t hear them over the rush of blood in his ears. He was numb and barely felt the walk back to his room. Before he knew it his door was sliding closed behind his back, shutting out the world and the concerned faces of his friends with it. For a long time he stood unmoving in the dark, letting the static in his brain overtake him. Time passed, how much he wasn’t sure, but by the time he blinked himself back into reality his legs were numb. Lance wobbled over to his bed and began pulling off his armor bit by bit. The ritual was soothing. He started with his gloved hands, then worked his way up his arms to his shoulders, then stood up to step out of the rest of it, stripping down to just his boxers. He left the blue armor in a pile on the floor, not having the energy to put it away as meticulously as he typically did. Lance flicked on the lamp at the head of his bunk and sat with his head in his hands. In saving his own stupid hide he had forfeit the love of his life. And that in and of itself was enough to make him wish he had just let himself crash into the boiling sun. Lance took a shuddering breath, raised his head and wiped the tears from his eyes. He laid back on his bed and willed himself to fall asleep. 

He wasn’t sure how long it had been since he dozed off but a sharp rap on the door startled him into semi-consciousness. Lance spared a glance at the clock as he rolled to his feet; it was almost two in the morning… He pawed clumsily at the door’s panel, rubbing blearily at his eyes. The door wooshed open to reveal Keith, standing impatiently and looking almost angry. Lance would have been startled, if he hadn’t been so absolutely enraptured by the way Keith looked. He had his hair tied into a loose, low ponytail. His arms were crossed over his considerable chest, showing off the strength in this arms and the breadth of his shoulders. Lance’s eyes trailed down his muscular abdomen to where his sweatpants were slung low on his hips, revealing the cuts that ran down all the way to… Lance blinked twice, trying to use the power of his mind to will away the bulge in his boxers and the heat in his face. 

Lance had barely begun to formulate the question when Keith’s hand snapped out, grabbing him firmly by the jaw and backing him into the nearest wall. Lance bumped up against the cool metal and gasped slightly, both at the unwelcome sensation against his sleep-warmed skin and at the sudden assault. Keith’s thumb and forefinger were digging into his mandible and the remaining three fingers pressed into the side of his throat. Keith was standing close, too close, his naked chest just barely grazing Lance’s. Keith leaned in slowly to growl into Lance’s ear.

“What the fuck did I tell you about touching me in front of the others?”

Lance was frozen, he had no idea what Keith was talking about. He breathed past the press of Keith’s hand on this throat and stuttered out an apology. 

“We’ve been through this before. An apology won’t do this time. Clearly you need to be taught a lesson.”

And then Lance was up to speed. He was about to get his ass truly kicked, in the middle of the night with no witnesses and no one to stop Keith from dumping his body out of the airlock. He calmed his nerves and prepared himself for the first hit, bunching the muscles in his abdomen and clenching his hands into fists. What came instead may as well have been a punch. Keith roughly twisted his head to one side and pressed a sucking kiss to his neck. Lance gasped as Keith began to bite down, undoubtedly leaving a bruise. Keith snaked his free hand down to rub at the now very apparent bulge in the blue paladin’s boxers, eliciting a raspy gasp. Lance reached his hands up to touch Keith, to draw him closer. But when his fingertips brushed Keith’s shoulders he found himself being spun around, the hand holding him by the throat now pinning him to the wall by the back of the neck. Keith bit his ear sharply then growled.

“You don’t get to touch tonight.”

Keith pushed two fingers into Lance’s mouth and commanded gruffly. 

“Suck.”

Keith grumbled his approval as Lance ran his tongue around his fingers and moaned around them. Withdrawing his fingers, Keith used his now free hand to pull down Lance’s boxers. He then pushed them into his ass without ceremony. It burned like hell and Lance loved it. He let out a cry and pushed back onto Keith’s hand. Keith let him ride his fingers for a moment before using his body weight to immobilize Lance against the wall. Then he started relentlessly fucking Lance’s ass with his fingers, slamming into his prostate and dragging moans and pleas from Lance. Keith released Lance’s neck but didn’t step back. Keith spat into his hand and reaching into his sweatpants, slicked himself. He then wrapped an arm around Lance’s chest and wrapped the other around his waist, fingers digging brutally into the thin skin of his hips. Lance nearly screamed as Keith pushed himself roughly inside, his head lolling back onto Keith’s shoulder. Lance felt himself stretch around Keith’s considerable girth and his cock throbbed. It wasn’t often that Keith topped, but when he did… Keith gave him less than a second to adjust before he began fucking into him, hard. Every stroke was absolute ecstasy, hitting his prostate perfectly. Lance could barely think, he reached his hands back to curl into Keith’s hair. Keith released his hold on Lance’s body and grabbed him by the hair, pulling harshly.

“What did I say about touching?”

Lance whimpered as Keith tugged on his hair, clearly expecting a response.

“I-I’m s-sorry…”

He saw Keith nod in his peripherals.

“You will be.”

Keith guided him to the bed and pushed him onto his hands and knees. He pulled Lance’s arms behind him and held both his wrists in one strong hand. He guided him cock to Lance’s ass and pushed himself back inside. Lance cried out sharply. Keith grabbed his hip and began to slam into him, the force of his thrusts pushing Lance up the bed. Keith began to move harder, faster and just when Lance thought he wouldn’t be able to take anymore Keith laid himself across Lance’s back, wrapped a hand around his throbbing erection and started stripping his cock. And then just like that, Lance was cumming, spilling all over his sheets and Keith’s hand. Keith gave a few more stuttering thrusts before groaning deeply and emptying himself inside of Lance. Keith laid himself limply across Lance’s back, pushing his face softly into the valley between his shoulders. A few beats passed before Keith withdrew his cock, eliciting a whimper from Lance. He stood, adjusted himself and wiped a hand on Lance’s sheets. Lance had barely stopped shivering when he heard the door close. He pushed himself up and was greeted with the sight of an empty room. Keith was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, friends. It's been a while and for that, I am terribly sorry. But please enjoy (or really truly despise) this next chapter. 
> 
> P.S. Here's how I'm basically imagining future!Pidge & Allura... https://junk-ren.tumblr.com/post/169370057864/some-scars-and-a-decade-of-battles-you-better


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the gauntlet is thrown.

Keith had only made it a few steps out the door when he heard the door open. 

“What the FUCK is wrong with you?”

Lance cried in anger, his voice wobbling slightly, betraying him. Keith’s eyebrow twitched in irritation, knowing what was about to come. He planted his feet and let Lance push him roughly from behind. He absorbed the momentum and took a step forward, turning around and crossing his arms over his bare chest, just glaring. Lance had his bedclothes on but just barely, 

Lance was red-faced and wet-eyed and his lips were still swollen. Keith let his eyes linger on them for just a moment before turning his attention to the problem at hand. 

“You should keep your voice down. People are trying to sleep.”

Lance’s lip curled, baring his teeth. He pulled himself up to full height and stepped into Keith’s space, grabbing him by the shirt front as he hissed

“You condescending prick. You think you can just fuck me and leave? I’m not a whore.”

Keith smirked, barely containing a haughty laugh. When he spoke it was cold. 

“Interesting that you say that. Because it certainly didn’t seem that way when I had you writhing on my cock. Should I have left a tip? Is that why you’re mad?”

Lance’s eyes flashed and he pulled his fist back, ready to take a swing, but Keith was faster, ducking out of Lance’s hold and grabbing him by the waist, using his shoulder to knock the wind out of him and his weight to take him to the ground. They landed with a dull thud that echoed quietly in the empty hallway. While Lance was still stunned from the fall, Keith sat up on his knees, straddled across Lance’s chest and landed a quick, hard punch across the right side of his face. Lance jolted as the blow landed and didn’t move when Keith leaned to whisper in his ear.

“Don’t fuck with me.”

Keith pushed himself to his feet and left Lance laying there in the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short but necessary scene. Please enjoy this double update. So much love and gratitude to those of you who are still reading xx


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we begin to understand.

Keith kept his face trained to neutrality until the door to his room slid closed behind him. He took a shuddering breath and crumpled to the floor, holding back the vomit and vitriol he felt swirling inside him. This was his Lance. He knew it beyond a shadow of a doubt. That glimmer in his eyes, the tenderness of his touch in the common room, even his righteous anger. That was the Lance that had visited him all those years ago. The Lance that had ruined him. 

Keith had never had anyone. Connection was a luxury he couldn’t afford, a risk that he couldn’t survive taking. He had Shiro, this was true. Shiro was a leader to follow, an absolute force of nature and Keith trusted him with his life. But Keith didn’t trust anyone with his heart. And Lance was this bright shining thing that Keith wanted so badly and knew he could never possess. Maybe in one future he had, if what Lance had said was true. But how likely was it that Keith, a damaged distrustful desert boy without a home, could win Lance’s radiant heart again? That future had to have been one in a million. And Keith wasn’t a gambling man. 

The visit from the future had changed the way Keith saw Lance. The Lance that he thought to be immature, insecure and grating. Keith had always been a bit of a loner, and that role afforded him perspective. After the visit, he watched Lance from afar. Keith saw his love for and loyalty towards his teammates, and knew that in the heat of a battle Lance would always be there. Keith saw his compassion for the enslaved people on the hundreds of worlds they visited and knew that he saw his sisters and nieces and nephews in the alien faces. Lance had a heart the size of the galaxy and friends on a hundred planets besides. And in the darker moments, Keith saw Lance’s insecurity. He knew that Lance didn’t feel like he belonged; felt in his soul that he should have stayed a cargo pilot, that he didn’t deserve this place as a defender of the universe, that the team would be stronger without him. Keith knew the dark look in his eyes meant that he was a hurricane inside, the twist of his mouth that meant he was about to cry. And he knew the amused twitch of Lance’s eyebrow before he said something snarky, and the wry pull of his mouth when he thought of something clever. In trying to understand this odd lanky boy, Keith found himself feeling something like love. The second he recognized the electric sparks in his fingers and his chest he tried to stop watching the way Lance moved, stopped listening when he told stories, and stopped letting himself entertain fantasies of Lance falling asleep on his chest, breath soft and even against his neck. But it was too late. He was already in free-fall. And before he knew it, his heart was no longer his own. It belonged to a big-mouthed, blue-eyed Cuban boy. 

To have someone else holding your heart was a dangerous thing, as Keith quickly learned. Every time he and Lance pressed close during an argument or stood back to back in the heat of battle, he felt a warmth inside him, as though he were made of light. And even as he spat angry words or fired his bayard at an approaching enemy he could feel his cheeks heat and his heart beat giddily. Keith was tricked into hoping, whenever Lance smiled broadly at him. But he learned his lesson quickly. Lance was naturally prone to flirtation, and every smile he shot at a pretty girl, every wink at a handsome serving boy, was like a knife through his chest. Keith shut down quickly after that, unable to handle the hold that Lance had on him. It only got worse after their first kiss. They started to steal time together, between practice and mealtimes and group bonding. And if ever Lance tried to push beyond the physical, Keith would walk away.  
He knew that Lance could only handle being rejected so many times. So he kept rejecting him. Waiting for the day that he would give up. And eventually Lance stopped trying to kiss him, stopped trying to stay the night, and stopped looking at him in that soft way he had. Instead he looked tired, defeated. Just opened the door whenever Keith came and when they were done he didn’t linger. Didn’t speak a word. Just left. 

Keith had assured that Lance would never love him. But that didn’t stop his wanting. And oh, how he wanted. So even after he had defeated Lance, he would go to his room at night when everyone else was asleep. He would strip Lance down, take him apart and leave. It was in this small way, in this touch of skin to skin, Keith could hold him as one holds a lit match. Momentarily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Finally!" The readers cry. "Some fucking clarity!" 
> 
> A look into what in the good goddamn Keith was thinking and into what Lance's presence in the past did.


End file.
